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Such a Pretty Fat:  One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big; Or, Why Pie Is Not the Answer - Jen Lancaster I decided around page 200 that I didn't want to finish Such a Pretty Fat. I paged through the last half of the book, reading a bit here and there, and confirmed I was okay with my decision before putting it back in the library bag.

The thing is, I disagree with a lot of the negative reviews -- I love sarcasm, I love bitchiness, I love swearing (I FUCKING LOVE SWEARING), but there's still something about Lancaster's writing that doesn't sit well with me. If I'm reading a memoir, it's important that it feels authentic, and almost all of the conversations I read in Pretty Fat felt canned, like they were scripted for a sitcom with a laugh track. I realize part of a memoir is putting your most interesting self forward, but there are only so many WE ARE SO CLEVER, OH MY GAWD back-and-forths a reader can take (if that reader is me).

Slow-ass pacing, smugness, nastiness for the wrong reasons, and the fact that the magical elixir was a combo of sensible eating and hiring a personal trainer -- so much for the everywoman appeal -- cemented Pretty Fat's place on the "unfinished" shelf.

(one-and-a-half stars)

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